LOOKING FOR THE CAUSE OF THE BREAKDOWN IN RELATIONSHIPS

Broken relationships occur in so many areas of life—among family members, among friends, in the work place, and out there among the nations. Broken relationships are often associated with other problems such as loneliness, anxiety, aggression, low self esteem, damaged emotions, a scarred self image. An explanation for the cause of these can sometimes be found hidden in experiences of the past. Counselling can help in identifying some of these causes. These comments by Meier, Minirth, Wichern, Ratcliffe,[1] may be helpful …

   Emotional deprivation or trauma in childhood can carry over into later life … Single traumas are unlikely to predispose an individual to adult pathology (psychological problems), but recurrent trauma in early childhood is more damaging … Although there is no doubt that early environmental factors influence mental health, it must be stressed again that these factors should not be used as excuses for irresponsible behaviour. Through Christ, and the healing body of believers (which might include Christian counsellors), individuals can learn to cope with even the most difficult early environmental factors.

Others see the cause of their problems as being in their present situation. Once again counselling may help to identify some of these. The reasons identified however, mostly belong to what Dr David Seamands[2] calls our ‘outer world’. Problems are rarely resolved just by identifying a possible cause. Instead of finding a solution, the problems may simply be rearranged. To find the primary cause of our problems it is necessary to look deep within ourselves, to discover what is going on in our inner person.

Dr Larry Crabb[3] is one who has the courage to do this as he tells us of his own experience.

   The more I commit myself to finding God in the middle of life’s struggles, the more I become aware of something terribly wrong within me, something so evil that it must be overcome, but so strong that it reliably overcomes me. And yet it must be weakened and eventually destroyed. As long as this dark problem within me remains unchallenged I will never find God. But the problem is stubborn. It seems to have an organised, resilient life of its own. I therefore describe it as a structure within me, a fallen way of thinking about God.

Hosea likewise, goes to the heart of the matter as he points to the cause of his family’s and the people’s  problems—“your sins have brought you down.” (vs. 1).

Deep in the heart of all of us is the tendency to do what is wrong. We follow in the fall of our common ancestors Adam and Eve. We make the same decision to rebel against God as they did. We are controlled by our sinful nature. Paul writes about it this way.

   I know I am rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn, I can’t make myself do what is right. I want to but I can’t. When I want to do good, I don’t. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway. But if I am doing what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing it; the sin within me is doing it. (Romans 7:18-20).

It is our sinfulness that lies at the heart of all broken relationships. And the broken relationship from which all the others flow is that between us and God. Isaiah says to us …

   Listen! The LORD is not to weak to save you, and he is not becoming deaf. He can hear you when you call. But there is a problem—your sins have cut you off from God. Because of your sin, he has turned away and will not listen anymore. (Isaiah 59:1-2)

But, reconciliation between sinful people and God has been made possible by the sacrificial death of Christ. Paul explains for us …

   For God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ, and by him God reconciled everything to himself. He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth by means of his blood on the cross. This includes you who were once so far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions, yet now he has brought you back as his friends. He has done this through his death on the cross in his own human body. As a result, he has brought you into the very presence of God, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault. But you must continue to believe this truth and stand in it firmly. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News. (Colossians 1:19-23a)

   For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. This is the wonderful message he has given us to tell others. (2 Corinthians 5:19)

Back to the story of Hosea. It is a story full of meaning for all of us, although in the first instance it concerns just Hosea’s family and the people of Israel. The mending of the fractured relationship between Gomer and Hosea provides a picture of the healing which is available for the people of Israel. Just as the fractured relationship between Hosea and Gomer was healed, so it is possible for the people of Israel to be reconciled with their God. The reconciliation between members of his family gave Hosea the moral and spiritual authority to call on his fellow country people to make their peace with God. It is with his own experience in mind that Hosea comes to the people with …

AN INVITATION TO RETURN TO THE LORD (14:1-3)

The people have been following other gods. They have been worshipping idols in the name of those gods and goddesses. They have so far not responded to God’s invitation to return to him. But the Lord has assured Hosea that he has not given up on his people.

   “For my people are determined to desert me. They call me the Most High, but they don’t truly honour me. Oh how can I give you up, Israel? How can I let you go? How can I destroy you like Admah and Zeboiim? My heart is torn within me, and my heart overflows.” (11:7-8).

From his own experience, Hosea knows that the broken relationship between God and his people can be restored. And so he invites his people to become reconciled with their God.

   Return O Israel, to the LORD your God, for your sins have brought you down. Bring your petitions, and return to the LORD. Say to him, “Forgive all our sins and graciously receive us, so that we may offer you the sacrifice of praise. Assyria cannot save us, nor can our strength in battle. Never again will we call the idols we have made ‘our gods.’ No, in you alone do the orphans find mercy. (vs. 1-3).

The form of the Hebrew word translated ‘return’ is emphatic but not harsh. Kidner[4] feels that … “There is warmth in the emphatic form of the word return. We could almost translate it, ‘Oh turn, Israel, right back to the LORD.’ ”

Receiving an invitation like this means that …

A Decision Is Called For

Perhaps one of the most important gifts we have is the ability to make choices. The people of Israel must now make a decision. They must choose whether or not to return to the Lord. The need for such a decision was one which had confronted the people of Israel many times. Joshua extended it to his generation.

   So honour the LORD and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the LORD alone. But if you are unwilling to serve the LORD then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:14-15)

Elijah challenged the people of his day to make a choice between the Lord and the gods of the people around them.

   So Ahab summoned all the people and the prophets to Mount Carmel. Then Elijah stood in front of them and said, “How long are you going to waver between two opinions. If the LORD is God, follow him! But if Baal is God, then follow him!” But the people were completely silent. (1 Kings 18:20-21)

AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE

In giving that invitation, Hosea has also suggested a suitable wording for the people’s response. It may be understood as being in the form of a liturgical response. There are firstly …

Words Of Confession

Hosea suggests these words: “Forgive all our sins and graciously receive us …” (vs. 2a). David used words like these in his prayer for forgiveness. In a moment of restlessness he had let down his guard and slept with another man’s wife. His relationship with the Lord immediately fell apart. When a faithful servant of the Lord spoke to him about his adultery, a sense of uncleanness swept over him. His response was to straightaway acknowledge his sinfulness. “Then David confessed to Nathan, ‘I have sinned against the LORD.’ ” (2 Samuel 12:13). And then to ask forgiveness from the Lord.

   “Have mercy on me O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sin. For I recognise my shameful deeds—they haunt me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgement against me is just. For I was born a sinner—yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.” (Psalm 51:1-5).

Next in Hosea’s suggested response come …

Words Of Praise

To the words of confession Hosea now adds the words “… so that we may offer you the sacrifice of praise.” (vs. 2b). The people have much to praise the Lord for—the forgiveness he offers, his goodness to them as a nation, the abundant natural resources of the land he has given them. They could take the words of praise from this praise song that David wrote.

   Praise the LORD, I tell myself; with my whole heart I will praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, I tell myself, and never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He ransoms me from death and surrounds me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (Psalm 103:1-5).

Words Confirming The Decision

These words carry an acknowledgement that looking for help from the systems of the world will in the end prove futile, along with a firm decision to trust no longer in the idol representations of foreign gods, but to trust in the Lord. “Assyria cannot save us, nor can our strength in battle. Never again will we call the idols we have made ‘our gods.’ No, in you alone do the orphans find mercy." (vs. 3)

Responding to the Lord like that brings a like response from the Lord for, as James assures us …

   So humble yourselves before God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, you hypocrites. Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honour. (James 4:7-10)

THE PROMISED RESPONSE OF THE LORD (14:4-8)
 

Consequent on their response to him the Lord promises …

Healing For the Inner Person (vs. 4a)

The LORD says, “Then I will heal you of your idolatry and faithlessness …” (vs. 4a). The Hebrew word translated ‘idolatry and faithlessness’ may be translated by the more general word ‘waywardness’. The meaning of the word has in it a sense of backsliding, unfaithfulness, a turning away from. It accurately describes the spiritual condition in Israel. The people have turned away from the Lord. The people have been unfaithful to him. Hosea has described their conduct as that of spiritual adultery. This is the reason for the fracturing of their relationship with the Lord.

The same offer of healing was made to the people of Israel in the time of Jeremiah, over a hundred years later, showing that they had been slow to respond to the Lord.

   Voices are heard on high on the windswept mountains, the weeping and pleadings of Israel’s people. For they have forgotten the LORD their God and wandered far from his ways.

   “My wayward children,” says the LORD,  “come back to me, and I will heal your wayward hearts.”

   “Yes, we will come,” the people reply, “for you are the LORD our God. Our worship of idols and religious orgies on the hills and mountains are completely false. Only in the LORD our God will Israel ever find salvation. From childhood we have watched as everything our ancestors worked for—their flocks and herds, their sons and daughters—was squandered on a delusion. Let us lie down in shame and dishonour, for we and our ancestors have always sinned against the LORD our God. We have never obeyed him.”

   “O Israel, come back to me,” says the LORD. “If you will throw away your detestable idols and go astray no more, and if you will swear by my name alone, and begin to live good, honest lives and uphold justice, then you will be a blessing to the nations of the world, and all people will come and praise my name.” (Jeremiah 3:21-4:2)

Several areas of human need are associated with a person’s waywardness. The Hebrew word translated ‘heal’ is ‘rapha’. In the components of meaning in this word, extending from its primary meaning ‘to heal’, are the ideas of repairing, mending, purifying, becoming fresh, and taking care of. These components describe the nature of God’s response to those who turn back to him in repentance and faith. With God’s forgiveness of sin comes the repairing of broken relationships, the repairing of battered emotions, the purifying of polluted thinking, the healing of wounded spirits, the refreshing of tired minds, the taking care of anxieties.

The Greek word καταρτιζω (katartizō), found in the writings of the New Testament, contains the same idea of repairing something that is broken or torn. We find it, for example, in Matthew’s account of some fishermen’s meeting with Jesus.

   One day as Jesus was walking along the shore beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers—Simon, also called Peter, and Andrew—fishing with a net, for they were commercial fishermen. Jesus called out to them, “Come, be my disciples, and I will show you how to fish for people!” And they left their nets at once and went with him.

   A little farther up the shore he saw two other brothers, James and John, sitting in a boat with their father Zebedee, mending [καταρτιζω] their nets. And he called them to come too. They immediately followed him, leaving their boat and their father behind. (Matthew 4:18-22)

Paul uses the word in writing to the Christians in Thessalonica of his prayer that he and his fellow teachers might be able to visit them sometime in order to help mend any gaps that may have appeared in their faith.

   How we thank God for you! Because of you we have great joy in the presence of God. Night and day we pray earnestly for you, asking God to let us see you again to fill up [καταρτιζω] anything that may still be missing in your faith. May God himself, our Father, and our Lord Jesus make it possible for us to come to you very soon. (1 Thessalonians 3:9-11)

We find the word again in another of Paul’s letters in which he encourages those in Galatia to get alongside of any of their fellow Christians who have been spiritually wounded in any way.

   Dear friends, if a Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help [καταρτιζω] that person back onto the right path. Share each other’s troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1-2)

Peter, no doubt remembering how he so often mended [καταρτιζω] his fishing nets, assures us that the Lord is always there ready to mend the wounds inflicted by those who oppose our faith.

   Be careful! Watch out for attacks from the Devil, your great enemy. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour. Take a firm stand against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that Christians all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering that you are.

   In his kindness God called you to his eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ. After you have suffered a little while, he will restore [καταρτιζω], support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power is his forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:8-11) 

The Lord also responds with a …

Love Which Cannot be Bought (vs. 4b)

To his promised response of healing for the people’s waywardness, the Lord adds “… and my love will know no bounds, for my anger will be gone forever!” (4b). No one can buy God’s love. Not by offering good deeds, not by the performance of religious duties, not by becoming a martyr. God loves because he is God. It is his nature to love. He gives his love freely. One of Hosea’s contemporaries Isaiah, also makes it clear that God’s love cannot be bought. As he passes on this invitation from the Lord …

   “Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink—even if you have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk—it’s all free! Why spend your money on food that does not give strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen, and I will tell you where to get food that is good for the soul! Come to me with your eyes wide open. Listen, for the life of your soul is at stake. I am ready to make an everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the mercies and unfailing love that I promised to David.” (Isaiah 55:1-3).

Now comes the promise of …

Freshness in Place of Staleness (vs. 5a)

The Lord makes this promise to all his people. “I will be to Israel like a refreshing dew from heaven.” (vs. 5a). The word picture speaks to us of the freshness of the early morning. Dew is a collection of small drops of water. It forms when water vapour in the air condenses on cool surfaces. Dew forms quietly. It does not come with the thunderous noise of a storm. The dew, glistening in the first rays of the sun creates a feeling of newness and freshness at the start of a new day.

The dew of the presence of the Lord brings a freshness into our lives as we meet with him in his word each morning. Jeremiah writes of his experience …

   The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness. His mercies begin afresh  each day. I say to myself, “ The LORD is my inheritance, therefore I will hope in him.!”

   The LORD is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the LORD. (Lamentations 3:22-26)

The refreshing dew often comes through the teaching of the Scriptures by those gifted for that ministry—servants of the Lord like Moses. Listen as he begins his address to the congregation of Israel with these words …

“Listen, O heavens, and I will speak!

Hear O earth, the words that I say!

My teaching will fall on you like rain.

My speech will settle like dew.

My words will fall like rain on tender grass,

like gentle showers on young plants.

I will proclaim the name of the LORD.

How glorious is our God!

He is the rock. His work is perfect.

Everything he does is just and fair.

He is a faithful God who does no wrong.

How just and upright he is!

(Deuteronomy 32:1-4)

The Lord also promises …

Beauty In The Place Desolation (vs. 5b)

The word picture this time is drawn from the beauty of the lily. For those who return to the Lord, the promise is that they “… will blossom like the lily.” (vs. 5b). Lilies produce colourful flowers of great beauty on tall slender stems. They are found in unexpected places. While travelling in the Western Province of Papua New Guinea I noticed how the water lilies turned the unattractive swamp areas into places of great beauty. In like manner, when we invite the Lord to take up residence in our lives, he creates beauty in our inner person, where only swampland would exist without him. Peter wrote this of inner beauty.

   Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewellery, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God. (1 Peter 3:3-4).

Isaiah writes of ‘beauty for ashes’ in speaking of a ministry that would be taken up by Messiah Jesus[5] …

    The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me, because the LORD has appointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the broken hearted and to announce that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the LORD’s favour has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies. To all who mourn in Israel, he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the LORD has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory. (Isaiah 61:1-3)

Another promised response of the Lord is to give …

Strength And Stability In The Place Of Unsteadiness (Vs. 5c)

Balancing the life of gentleness and beauty is the towering strength that the Lord promises to give as he enables the Lord’s people to “… send roots deep into the soil like the cedars in Lebanon.” (vs. 5c). Cedar trees grow tall and majestic in the forests of Lebanon. The trees provided some of the best building timber in the ancient east. King Solomon purchased them to use in the building of the temple at Jerusalem.[6] The trees gained their stability from the roots they put down deep into the soil. David writes of the strength that comes from the Scriptures for those well grounded in it.

   Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with the scoffers. But they delight in everything the LORD wants, day and night they think about his law. They are like trees planted along the river bank, bearing fruit each season without fail. Their leaves never wither, and in all they do, they prosper. (Psalm 1:1-3)

A further promised response from the Lord is that of …

Vitality And Vigour In The Place Of Lethargy

The Lord says of his people that their “… branches will spread out like those of beautiful olive trees…” (vs. 6a). The word picture paints for us a scene of vigorous growth. Olive trees in the Middle East can grow as high as six metres. Oriental people regard them as a symbol of Divine blessing and prosperity. They are highly valued for the oil they produce, for the shelter they provide from the burning sun, and as places for meditation. An Olive grove is a place of growth and vitality. It is a place of fruitfulness. The life of the tree is in its innermost being. The life carrying sap is not seen. It distributes its life producing energy to all parts of the tree. The result is the bearing of much fruit.

Jesus drew his picture from the vineyard to illustrate the way of vigorous growth and fruitfulness.

   “I am the vine and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so that they will produce even more. You have already been pruned for greater fruitfulness by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful apart from me.

   Yes, I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:1-5)

Yet another word picture points us to the promise of …

A Pleasant Fragrance In The Place Of The Stench Of Death

Not only are God’s people to be strong and stable like the cedar trees, vigorous and fruitful like the olive tree, but also with the pleasant fragrance of those tall cedars of the forest—a fragrance described as being “… as fragrant as the cedar forests of Lebanon.” (vs. 6b). The cedar trees of Lebanon are well known for their pleasant smell. People who spend a lot of time among the trees capture some of the aroma in their clothes. The pleasing fragrance of the cedar trees goes with them wherever they go.

In the same way, those who live close to the Lord carry with them a pleasing sense of his presence which make others want to know him too. Wolfendale[7] tells the story of a visitor to the home of a Christian. Such was the presence of the Lord that the visitor said to his host, “If I stay here any longer I shall become a Christian in spite of myself.”

We now come to the Lord’s promise to provide …

A Place Of Protection

The Lord gives this further response to those who respond to his invitation to return to him.

   My people will return again to the safety of their land. They will flourish like grain and blossom like grapevines. They will be as fragrant as the wines of Lebanon. O Israel, stay away from idols! I am the one who looks after you and cares for you. I am like a tree that is always green, giving my fruit to you all through the year. (vs. 7-8).

Here indeed is a place of security. Back where they ought to be, the place provided for them—a sheltered place where the Lord cares for them. A place David speaks of when he says to the Lord …

   Your goodness is so great! You have stored up great blessings for those who honour you. You have done so much for those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world. You hide them in the shelter of your presence, safe from those who conspire against them. You shelter them in your presence, far from accusing tongues. (Psalm 31:19-20)     

©